Skiing, Losing, FTOPS, etc

Was in Breckenridge, CO skiing for the weekend and playing poker at night and had a great time during the day and miserable. I didn't have a winning session in the 4 nights I was there I don't think. Was REALLY getting frustrated and still am to an extent. But overall it was an awesome trip and its so good to get away for a few days every once in a while. Being at work for weeks on end in a row puts me on life tilt and I really do think I play better poker when I'm not pissed off all the time.

I am down ~5k on my stake and am kind of panicky to an extent. Its just really frustrating to spend as much time and effort as I have in the past 6 months or so and not be putting up decent results. I don't think I knew anything about poker 6 months ago and I was a winning player. I am sooo committed to becoming a winning player and I just don't seem to be getting there. I get no more than 6 hrs of sleep per night because I always try and get in at least 5 hours of poker (playing or studying) per day. I spend every day falling asleep at work because I stayed up all night playing. Somethings got to give, its not worth it to be putting in all this time and affecting the rest of my life if I'm never going to put up results. I'm going to continue to learn and play for a few more months I think. I really am totally obsessed with becoming a good player but its tough to be positive about it when I continue to lose my backers money.

Alright, enough whining. As bad as my results have been lately I continue to feel like my tournament game is getting really close. I played ftops 1 last night and sattied into the $320 nightly on stars. Had big stacks early but never really could get anything going. In the Stars tourney, I finished 5 people from the money when rdcrsn flatted me p/f in position. I have AQ and the flop hits Q 5 3. I bet....he raises....i tell my friend he has AA or KK but w/ only like 10 bbs behind I decided to call and he flips AA gg me. He played it like he had AA or KK but I decided that he was a good enough player to make a play on that dry of a board on the bubble. It sucks, looking back I wish I woulda just folded out a few more hands and collected my $500. Thats a good score to me right now when nothing has gone right recently. Regardless, I fealt like I played well in both of the tourneys. Aside from doubling early in both, I was super card dead. I am just going to keep playing what I feel like is good poker and hopepully I can run good in the middle stages of one of these big tourneys. I need something soon. It's easy to say "I think I am playing well" but its really tough to actually believe it when I haven't gone deep in a tournament in months. I am going to go back through both HH's from last night and try to see some things I could have done differently. I'll be playing a few tourneys tonight (7pm - $109 stars and $75 ftp) and then will be taking friday/saturday off to spend some time w/ my gf and my dog. Sunday I am going to la casa de dg0016/pokerskibum/romes23 to play the two ftops events and hopefully satty into some of the sunday majors. Will post results if anything good happens.